Apples & Eve

what fills our heads

I returned from Alaska ten days ago, and between jet lag and emotional fallout, re-entry was slow. (ps: my brother is improving). But I’m also simultaneously dealing with my health issues.

Throughout 2025 I had intermittent angina (chest pain) of unknown origin, then a bout of Covid in September ’25 exacerbated symptoms. I was in and out of the ER, had labs and imaging. I had pericarditis in 2015, so the cardiologist is treating it as pericarditis, but there is no diagnosis. Long covid? Maybe. And through it all I’m managing type 1 diabetes, and pretty well despite everything. Good to celebrate when you can!

I’m not sharing this to focus on illness. I m sure many readers have similar health tales to tell, rather, I’m giving readers a glimpse behind the essays, and trying to understand how we live our life as it is especially if illness is what is.

Finally, when I ask myself, what is the one thing I would do in the world above all other things, the answer is always, write.

Thank you for reading. And now, the essay…

Eve with apple, Lucas Cranach the Elder

A Romance of Apples

It’s unlikely Eve plucked an apple from the Tree of Knowledge since up until the 17th c. the word “apple” was a generic term for all unknown, i.e. foreign, fruit, excluding berries, though it did include nuts.

Apples appear everywhere in mythology and in real life. Sadly, most American supermarkets only display tired boxes of Red Delicious or McIntosh, but myriad apple varieties were cultivated in the 1800s and 1900s. With the rise of corporate farming and standardization in the twentieth century, this wonderful diversity eventually disappeared from our diets.¹

But remembering their names is itself a delight, and to say them aloud is (almost) like reciting the litany of the saints: Ashmead’s Kernel, Belle de Boskoop, Blue Pearmain, Braeburn, Cox Orange Pippin, D’Arcy Spice, Snow Apple, Duchess of Oldenberg, Gravenstein, Northern Spy, Roxbury Russet, Winesap.

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What fills out heads

Eve disgraced herself when she ate from the Tree despite God clearly saying absolutely not! but even as a child in Catholic school I could not condemn her.

                                                              To name
out of all paradise the one thing denied her,
so Eve would spend those first days walking around
with apple apple filling hours in her head-
~from "Original Sin" a poem by Lucia Perillo

How could she think of anything but apples after that? Didn’t God know about human psychology?

Adam also eats the fruit when Eve offers it to him but quickly points the finger when faced with God’s wrath. He even tosses a petulant jab at the Lord.

The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” ~Book of Genesis

In the end, God curses them all—snake, woman and man—but we remember Eve’s transgression, the woman who dared to take what was forbidden, and we elevate Mary, the woman who submitted herself to God’s will and said yes to bearing his son.

I have a lot of transgressive art about Mary…

tomatoes, collage on board ©Valerie Spain

and this poem about Eve.

To satisfy

When my mother invited Eve to dinner all that woman wanted 
was apples! Apple sauce, apple cider, apple butter, 
every kind of apple, baked, roasted, sautéed and poached 
with every kind of meat, fish or fowl.

And for dessert my mother’s favorite recipe—apple cake,
which she bore to the table on a crystal cake platter
placing it in the middle of everything to float 
on its pedestal of glass above white linen.

Eve, a patient and practiced guest, 
inclined her head generously
watched the first slice slide 
from silver cake server to plate 
turned her fork on its edge
pressed firmly and cut 
just enough
to satisfy.

~Valerie Spain, May 2026

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Regarding AI: I do not use it in any part of my creative process: from conceiving and nurturing ideas, to editing drafts, to writing and recording the final essay, everything you read and listen to is the work of one human.

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* I’m a writer, poet, life coach and someone who’s lived with type 1 diabetes for 30+ years. I’m focusing my coaching niche to work with people living with type 1. I’m “in the gap,” someone who always does “fine” clinically, but gets little emotional support (from the medical profession) re how to navigate daily life with a chronic condition. If that sounds like you, we might be a good fit. You don’t have to do it alone.

*I’m excited to launch a new newsletter this month, Type 1 Diabetes Dilemma, about my my journey and ongoing insights.

And finally, if you like the post but don’t like subscriptions, you might like to buy me a coffee. :)

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NOTE: Shout out to Kathryn Petruccelli, poet and extraordinary teacher of poetry. I wrote “To satisfy” in her recent workshop, Eve. Reconceived. Find her at Ask the Poet.

1. Small and/or local orchards still cultivate these apples and I encourage readers to find them in your area. Search for “heirloom" apples.”